Feeling lost

Have you had times of feeling you don’t know who you are?

I’ve been experiencing this feeling ever since I graduated college.  I knew in high school I wanted to become a chemist and work for the coroner’s office in my area.  I went to college and got my BS in chemistry.  It took a bit but I finally found a job using my degree.  It was an FDA trial for a blood-based appendicitis test.  The job lasted a little less than a year.

Right before that job ended, I heard that the college I went to had a forensic science program.  I applied and was accepted.  While going to school for my masters, I got a job working in medical records at one of the local hospitals.  The job was not glamorous by any means, but it paid the bills.

I applied so many times to different jobs at the coroner’s office that I can’t count them anymore.  I never even got an interview.  Within the last couple of years, I’ve pretty much given up on getting a job there.

Now I work for a cyber security company, but my job has changed significantly from when I got hired.  Originally I was a risk analyst, conducting risk assessments for clients.  Now I’m been placed in sales, where I struggle every day.  I constantly stress about not making quota, and I’ve never really been trained.  I feel like a chicken with my head cut off.

Every day I struggle with who am I?  I don’t know what I want to do.  Job searching is a serious struggle, as the ones I apply to I never get an interview.  I’m constantly asking myself what is wrong with me?  I’m honestly not sure how much more of this I can take.

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