Have you had times of feeling you don’t know who you are?
I’ve been experiencing this feeling ever since I graduated college. I knew in high school I wanted to become a chemist and work for the coroner’s office in my area. I went to college and got my BS in chemistry. It took a bit but I finally found a job using my degree. It was an FDA trial for a blood-based appendicitis test. The job lasted a little less than a year.
Right before that job ended, I heard that the college I went to had a forensic science program. I applied and was accepted. While going to school for my masters, I got a job working in medical records at one of the local hospitals. The job was not glamorous by any means, but it paid the bills.
I applied so many times to different jobs at the coroner’s office that I can’t count them anymore. I never even got an interview. Within the last couple of years, I’ve pretty much given up on getting a job there.
Now I work for a cyber security company, but my job has changed significantly from when I got hired. Originally I was a risk analyst, conducting risk assessments for clients. Now I’m been placed in sales, where I struggle every day. I constantly stress about not making quota, and I’ve never really been trained. I feel like a chicken with my head cut off.
Every day I struggle with who am I? I don’t know what I want to do. Job searching is a serious struggle, as the ones I apply to I never get an interview. I’m constantly asking myself what is wrong with me? I’m honestly not sure how much more of this I can take.